Tuesday, July 17, 2012

cold nites

love is a miracle. like, as far as i can tell, it almost shouldn't be possible, but it transpires sort of in spite of the the world. 'cold nites' comes out of experiences i've had w respect to the will to preserve love across long distances, thru challenging times, amidst life's changes--- this will to love can give us the most beautiful stability and a sense of truly living, but can also lead us into totally spiritually rending compromises, split between worlds.


wanted to share this with u as soon as possible so i got my friend nick to make this little ambient video thingy – i think it's REALLY beautiful and i'm always so proud to work w him :+) love you nick

working on a music video for the song now v v v excited 
with an AMAZING director
more details soon

thank u and love you,

2 things

i never really get hit in the heart by songs that tell me what's going on and what to feel. i want to be shown something live and real, not told something. moved by an energetic affect (a deep experience, an ambiguous situation, an image of a moment of emotional intensity, a moment of true heart or peace or love or desperation) i set out to make my songs. and, for me at least (and i think this holds universally but i can't be sure), often times these intense affects happen right at the edge of language: i don't have words or a pre-set code to get a grip on these affects (this is after all what makes them feel intense!). and so in my songs i move back and forth between

a singing which is direct and pronounces words, which give me and the listener a certain foothold, some signifiers with which we are acquainted and with which we can begin to see in the dark


a singing which is impressionistic or expressive, tracing the contours of shapes which i do not yet know, and which i may never know. singing that feels out shapes, that makes its own shapes, and that isn't a translation of affect but tries
to be or produce affects--- this might be impossible but i want to keep trying :+)

i want these two together, all the time. to sing my way towards affects which exceed language but do not exceed the power of the voice, it's warbles and whispers, even its words.

what i want is a song that does this:

help us get nearer to affects in a sweet way, like how one approaches an injured animal in the wild, or the way one chases after the memory of a dream: by approaching carefully, quietly, on its terms. or how u try to approach emotions if you are being honest with yourself. ok ya.

Friday, May 25, 2012

ocean floor for everything


so, this week i told u about my new lp  TOTAL LOSS & i released a new song called 'ocean floor for everything'
it's here
and also here

so much love for all that, esp. to dummy magazine
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

it's a v personal song. i was supposed to meet a best friend who i hadn't seen in a year. i was returning home, and he was supposed to be there waiting for me. but on my way to him and to my home, he passed away. he always anticipated me: when we were younger, i'd discover something – some music or some feeling – and he would have already known it--- but he let me discover it for myself. it was like he was always ready for me to arrive. and then, this time, when i arrived, he had gone.

"i know u were always ready for me baby, way before we met--- i got there just to say 'hey.' and you were hoping for the days when u could say safely: 'i have my place, i have my home, i have my future.' but we never really plan for the worst of things do we? and then something like this happens --- for the sake of me? who? me? who? we? we've got feeling, got strength, and got the right thing for each other. there's an ocean floor for everything: for me, the sun, and he, gone."

it's going to be realllllly beautiful--- live violin, live cinematics, live drum machine stuff
all v live and v special 

links to buy ticks to the shows are there and soon more stuff

soon it will be integrated w this baby blog boy

<3 u